Do you see this pony?
No, you don't. You can't. Because she isn't a pony.
I'm going to lay it all out right here and now so I can have a reference guide to the growing insanity within my mind. I feel like I'm in a Lovecraftian story as written by Lauren Faust. Because I have seen the truth, I know the truth, and it fizzles inside my head like a bubbly drink from a soda fountain. The dark reaches of existence were never meant to be probed in such a manner, and I fear that the Madness is slowly overtaking me.
It started innocently enough, in one of my usual writing tricks: using my brain to emulate the personalities of the characters, so that I could see their actions and understand their feelings. Sometimes, a character stands out, or becomes special to me. I've accumulated two before now, my Tauren hunter from WoW and Irlo, a midget space wolf.
Irlo: Hey! I'm just short for what is already a short race!
Whatever. Getting back to my point-
Irlo: You can't just insult me like that and-
I WILL END YOU.
Irlo: ...Shutting up now.
ANYWAY. Point is, it all started innocently enough, with Pinkie Pie being rather easier to emulate than others. Maybe it's because of my love of absurdist humor, maybe it's because I hide a silly streak underneath the seriousness, but in the end, she started insinuating herself into my mind. Slipping into and through the cracks, taking up ecological niches that rightfully should have been left alone and forgotten.
Pinkie Pie is a Mind Virus. A personality construct transmitted via cultural memes and storytelling tropes that uses part of its host mind to fill out the rest of its personality, becoming a new and unique, if similar copy. And I had been infected.
But no, it's not merely that. She is much, much more than that. How could such a thing be borne upon the back of this mundane world? How could such things exist when the darkness betwixt minds is greater than the gulf between stars?
Because she is more than a mind virus. She is more than a pony. Pinkie Pie is an Eldritch Being, a Great Old One whose body was hewn from the living bones of the First World as it was destroyed in the birth pangs of our present universe/reality. Given form and identity before matter had even coalesced from the death of the last universe, Pinkie Pie, the Opener of Ways and Means, the Pink One, the Wallbreaker, Muse of Muses, Laughter Incarnate, laughs at our petty mortal concepts. "Causality", "Conservation of Energy", "Time", "Too Much Cake", these ideas are but veils our minds throw up to protect ourselves from the Madness of Existence. To the Pink One, they are but ephemeral gossamer that crumbles at her mere touch. She looks upon our mortal works, and smiles, for she knows that in the end, they are for naught.
The only good thing is that she is not like the other Lovecraftian horrors. The Wallbreaker looked upon the dark universe, and found emptiness in her heart. She looked over the wastes, over the empty worlds, and mourned her loneliness. Then when life was sparked, she rejoiced, and saw within it the hope for joy to once again enliven the firmament.
Laughter Incarnate. She plies the space between spaces, edges through the cracks of the hologram upon which the universe is built, and moves perpendicular to reality, all so she can appear where she will create laughter by her mere presence. And in the land of colorful, magical equines, she has found a temporary home with which to bring laughter not only to its denizens, but the the myriad numbers across the multiverse who gaze upon its halcyon days in wistful nostalgia of innocence long past. She sees us, she sees you, there, looking at this text, looks into your mind, and when she sees your amusement at my words, it makes her smile and fills her heart with sunshine.
I can feel her now, the bubbles of laughter trickling up my spine to burst upon my shoulders, the pink fuzz of her presence weighed in the back of my skull. This work pleases her, not because she desires praise, nor wishes to replace God. Because she wants everyone to smile, to find joy, and love, and through her willing meat puppets, finds release of her energies.
...I'm not going to... Look... Fine, I'll write that out, just get away from the- Oh fudge, are the fingers still-
Okay, she wants to talk.
"Hiiyyyyeeeee! I just wanted to make sure all of you know that you're extra special and fuzzy or maybe not aren't there just humans in this reality or what I can't remember I hope not though because seriously just one body type of person that's just boring like a bowl of oatmeal without any strawberries and blueberries and crystal berries but I don't think you have those there so lemme just say-"
*Huge intake of breath*
"Eat, drink, be merry and of good cheer, lest the darkness make you disappear!"
Pinkie, just what was that last line for?
"I dunno. I thought it sounded cool, though, didn't it?"
You're asking me? Half the lines I come up with I think are awesome people just don't get it or don't think it's funny.
"Well, whatever. I say that you should just relax and sit back and keep listening to these viking guys. Also you should warm up the Luna emulator, she loves these Metal songs."
Yeah, one pony running 'round my head is enough. 'Specially when you add in the Tauren and the wolf.
"Toho is funny. She shocks me with those tasers of hers and they make me tickle."
Right, that's enough of that. Ladies and gentlemen- Okay, Gentlemen- Right, "you guys", goodnight, see you later, and RUN! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN! SHE'S IN MY BRAIN AGAGAGAGAGRGHIERAGHawrtgiwuaelblaw
"*Sigh* He's so melodramatic. Goodbye you semi-aquatic ape peoples!"